When I was a kid, all I watched was Friends. I’d watch every episode Thursdays at 8pm whilst recording it (on VHS) and then I’d watch them over and over again. I knew the lines word for word and I converted everyone I knew into avid Friends watchers. All the live long day, Friends. Every episode was so applicable and they’re even more hilarious now that I’ve been living in New York City the past few years realizing that every joke was a mockery of the different types of New Yorkers you meet along the way. These days, I’m the mocked New Yorker.
Joey [wearing a funny hat]: Seriously, you like it? This guy was selling them on 8th Ave and I looked at him and I thought, “You know what I don’t have?”
Monica: A mirror?
J: Fine, make fun. I think It’s jaunty.
M: Wow, for a guy who’s recently lost his job, you’re in an awfully good mood.
J: Hey, I’ll be alright. I mean, it’s not like I’m starting from square one. I was Dr. Drake Ramoray on “Days of Our Lives.” I mean, that’s gotta have some kind of cache.
M: Cache? Jaunty?
J: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper.
That was me the other day jauntily walking around (slightly intoxicated) with a new leather backpack and a camera in it. ”I’m alright. I’m not starting from square one. I was a fashion segment producer on MTV’s The Seven. That’s gotta have some impact?” It’s gotta, right? I really hope it does because I’ve lost one gig, passed on another, and waiting word on a third that, to be honest, also feels like a step back.
Estelle [Joey’s agent]: Don’t worry about it already. Things happen.
Joey: So, you’re not mad at me for getting fired and everything?
E: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for “Another World.”
J: Alright! [Looking over script] Cab driver number two?
E: You’re welcome!
J: But I was Dr. Drake Ramoray. How can I go from being a neurosurgeon to driving a cab?
E: Things change, roll with ‘em!
J: But this is a two-line part. It’s like taking a step backwards, I’m not gonna do this.
E: Joey, I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minzer and his pyramid of dogs - Take any job you can get and don’t make on the floor.
“Take any job you can get.” It’s great advice in show business. (“Don’t make on the floor.” That’s just common sense, especially in New York!) At this rate, if the third show is offered to me, I’ll probably have to take it. I have a camera and a leather bag sitting on plastic as I wait for unemployment check one to come through.
[Joey opens envelope one of two of his Visa bill.]
Ross: What, whoa, whoa, $3500 at Porcelain Safari?
J: My animals. The guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don’t know what I’m gonna do.
R: Well, I guess you can start by drivin’ a cab on “Another World.”
J: That’s a two-line part.
R: Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite.
J: So what?
R: So suck it up, man. It’s a job. It’s money.
J: Hey, look, I don’t need you getting all judgmental and condescending and podantic.
R: Toilet paper?
R: Look, I’m not being any of those things, okay, I’m just being realistic.
J: Well knock it off, you’re supposed to be my friend.
R: I am your friend.
J: Then tell me things like, “Joey, you’ll be fine,” and “Hang in there,” and “Something big’s gonna come along, I know it.”
R: But I don’t know it. What I do know is you owe $2300 at Isn’t It Chromantic.
J: Hey Ross, I’m aware of what I owe.
R: Okay, well then get some sense. I mean, it took you what, 10 years to get that job? Who knows how long it’s gonna be till you get another?
First, I don’t owe that much (at least not in credit card debt). Second, I have those friends and family that Joey wants. But I also have the Ross’ in life. Pragmatism tells me that if I’m offered this gig, I take it, pay off the debt, look for other gigs, and maybe store up some cash to buy a new pair of shoes. I’m good with shoes. Like Dave just told me this morning:
I wore the boat shoes you gave me on Saturday…I was THE MAN. Everyone loved them!
I should be a personal shopper. They make money right?
Fashion crash: 90s fashion. Everyone was HATING on that madness about five years ago saying that the 70s and 80s were fashion heydays and the 90s had nothing to offer in terms of future revitalization. But Friends alone was just one major game changer for fashion. High waist jeans, corset tops, maxi skirts, big hair, big hats, harem pants, for crying out loud?! My favorite is the universal and unisex Jack Purcell Converse that all the Friends cast wore.
Friends circa 1996 - “The One With the Flashback:”
I’ve owned at least one black pair and one white pair every day since the 6th grade. Thought I’d take ‘em for a spin in the park this afternoon while I played with the new camera.