I’ve tried this before.  And then I let it go.  And then I tried it again.  And then I forgot about it.  And then the show I worked on got cancelled (I love The Seven) and all of my (now) former teammates started blogging.  So now I’m regretting not keeping up with my blog attempts before.

So I’m on tumblr now in hopes of starting anew (again).  Leaving blogger behind. Trying to get over the end of The Seven (it’s seriously like a really bad breakup).  And I’m hoping to document all the amazing things that happen, that have happened (I’m way too sentimental to let go so you’ll witness my has-been moments here) and that I know WILL happen.

I was the fashion segment producer on The Seven.  Oy, me and fashion.  I love clothes, I love dressing up, I love the craft, I love the art.  But I hate the hoity toity.  As though just because a girl works for Lucky Magazine or Calvin Klein that means you or I couldn’t be just as fashionable.  But producing fashion segments on The Seven were the perfect balance for me.  I could produce those, have an affair with the fashion world and still produce other pieces without having to say bullshit like “I have a passion for fashion.”

Enter this new beginning.  ”Crashin’ Fashion.”  My rise and fall from fashion producer to unemployed.  Ironically enough, yesterday was the first time I was actually walking the streets of New York long enough to have my photo taken for a fashion blog.  And I was wearing leftovers from my fashion closet at my now-defunct fashion segments!  Oy, me and fashion.

Swingers.  A classic, we all know this.  It’s been relevant the last few days for many reasons.  

First, I was chatting with a Seven-mate a few days after cancellation and he was listing off the reasons I needed to join him for a movie - he was lonely, depressed, broke; a real catch.  I told him he was “so money” and he didn’t even know it.  

Then (second), I realized how much I needed a Trent in my life to tell me that too (instead I’m blogging in hopes that one day I can look back and see just how “money” this honey baby actually is; you know what I’m talking about).  

Another: whenever prospects look dim, I always consider moving back to LA, the homeland (save the emails, phone calls, text messages from friends and family all telling me to do so) and the opening montage of Swingers makes it that much more enticing.

Another: fashion.  (The reason for this blog in the first place, right?)  I’ve always been a retro girl and I thank the lord that high-waist, wide-leg pants are everywhere for my consumption right now.  Blouses are actually made of real silk these days (not the polyester of yesteryear).  Break out the red lipstick; make use of my mother’s discards that I’ve been hoarding in my closet waiting for the right complimentary piece to make it work.  It works!  And as much as I hate a midtown suit and tie, you really cannot deny the young Vince Vaughn’s Vegas get up; especially not in that ride.

Lastly, freshman year of high school, my two BFF forevers and I bonded over the infamous scene, when Mike leaves too many messages, after one of us had received a chain of these from a potential boyfriend.  Swinger chicks, for life!  How could I ever forget about this?

The plus-side to no longer working 12-hour, 10-hour, not even eight-hour days is that I can keep up with my neglected home.  First order of business, my stack of hats sitting atop my armoire.

Now, I have a pretty big head (possibly half made of air, yes), and I have pretty big hair (it’s taken me years to accept that my hair isn’t just frizzy, it’s actually curly, and my curly hair-specialist refuses, with valid argument, to thin out my hair with shears), so hats aren’t exactly my best friend (it probably doesn’t help that I don’t treat them very well).  I’m just that girl who forcefully invites hats over to hang out on my head no matter if we get along.  I like wearing them, despite what people say about hats and big heads.  Hats add just a hint of “oomph” to outfits.

But I don’t know how to take care of my hats.  They’ve literally been stacked on top of my armoire since we moved here in December and when I want to wear one, I stand as high as possible on my toes and balance the stack off the top of the shelf till they all collapse on my bed.  

The floppy hats are crushed and have creases and flop in all the wrong places.  

In my defense, the straw hat was advertised as packable and re-shapeable.  False!  It looks like a poorly wrapped do-rag or one of those arab headpieces.

My stiff-brimmed cloches are all crooked too despite a lesson from a bartender at Virgil’s to keep hats upside down on the head so as not to crookify the brim.  (Virgil’s: the original spot for Seven Friday night outings where, yes, we have a drink named after us, the bartenders know our names - heaven help me if I can remember theirs, not even the one who taught me about hats - and we’ve caused much chaos but still, they gave us free appetizers.  Oh Virgil’s…).

Crooked stiff-brimmed cloches (they’re not fedoras!):

And since I stack my hats, my feathers get all ruffled:

And I don’t even know why I still own these below.  Probably the ones ruffling the feathers.  First, a (real) fedora, circa 2003 after Justin Timberlake wore a bunch during his Justified business.  Second, I don’t know but I’m pretty sure that’s going to the thrift store today.  Third, vivan Los Dodgers!!! (I don’t want to talk about how much they and the franchise suck.)  Fourth, probably had a Keira Knightly ambition at the time of purchase because I have never worn it (yet for some reason, it’s not joining the other at the thrift store and I’m keeping it).

And now the immediacy peg (I worked in “news” television so I have to keep things updated).  Last Friday was supposed to be Summer Accessories Fashion Friday and the hats scheduled to appear were this season’s Panama and pork-pie hats.

Panama hats - remember that episode of “I Love Lucy” when her antics somehow lead her to rolling cigars and she throws on a hat to hide from Ricky?  That’s basically a Panama hat.  J. Crew’s all over them this summer. 

In my fashion segment, we would have told you that they’re a versatile hat - you can wear it casually with a pair of shorts or laid-back dress, but you can also wear it with a pair or heels or dressy slacks (etc, etc, etc).  They’re the fedora-alternative; favorable for several types of styles and shapes (even big heads like mine); the go-to hat this summer.  Get one.

Pork-pie hats - I don’t have any cute anecdotes about this one except that Ashley Simpson wears them and I found them on this blog.  This would look terrible on me; not suitable for big heads and round faces because it would create a further round face.  They’re a little stumpy.  

But dudes certainly look hot in them.

Today would have been “How-To” Fashion Friday on The Seven: how to wear denim on denim; how to wear high-waist pants; how-to mix prints and patterns; etc, and I was going to dole that out here today.  But an interview came through late yesterday afternoon so I thought “Dressing For an Interview” would be more appropriate.  

In the creative professions, an interview outfit isn’t as simple as throwing on a suit - you’ll look like an ass.  And since I didn’t get the last two gigs I interviewed for wearing pants and blouses, I sought the Internet for a remedy.

Enter Lucky Magazine’s video: Foolproof Interview Outfits.  I’d first like to say that my fashion segments on The Seven were way more entertaining, useful and beautifully produced than these, but we never dove into interview outfits (when your audience is 18- to 24-year-olds, count your blessings if you can, at the very least, get them to stop wearing Uggs).  But Lucky has some useful tips, especially for interviews in warm weather.

First, for the corporate candidates, a light blazer, polished blouse, cropped trousers and standard t-strap heels.  (Too structured for the television industry.)  Then, for those in the non-profit or education sectors, light colors and sweet pieces like a cardigan and a skirt no higher than two-inches above the knee.  (Too conservative for the television industry.)  Finally, for those in creative fields, a structured, still conservative dress in an unexpected color, with accessories that give a nod to individual creativity.  Bingo.

My attempts (after realizing that I don’t own a structured, still conservative dress in an unexpected color):

(First: silk dress by Dolce Vita via Gilt, white and gold belt from H&M (from pants), beaded necklace from Anthropologie. Second: dress from ModCloth.com; my mother’s belt; necklace from Forever 21. Third: dress by Eskell via Gilt; blazer by Taikonhu via Anthropologie; necklace from Forever 21. Fourth: dress by To the Max via Macy’s; vintage belt from Zachary Smile; necklace from Forever 21. Shoes from J. Crew.)

The light blue suede and patent pumps are all I have so I’m working outfits around them.

First, a silky navy blue, double-breasted, collared dress (that’s a little too big for me) with a fun colored and patterned beaded necklace and a white belt with gold buckle that I swiped off a pair of pants (I usually hate when belts come with the pants but I actually really dig this one).  That necklace falls nicely in the picture but not on my body in this dress so I moved on.

Second, a more structured navy blue dress (why do I have so many navy blue dresses?) with pleated silky sash, vintage black belt with gold buckle and a multi-strand metal necklace.  I’m really into this outfit but I’m scared the sash screams “cocktail party.”  A possibility.

Third, a simple (not navy) blue dress that’s cut-out in the back so I thought I’d throw the blazer over it and spruce it up with the metal necklace but the dress and blazer action felt a little too Kate Middleton (see: Royal Fashion Friday.  I took those pictures and shopped for those outfits and dressed those models and basically killed myself for that piece).  Moving on.

Fourth, a mauve, drapey, Grecian feeling dress tied in by a creme elastic cord belt and gold bow buckle, with a colorful multi-strand necklace.  Pushes the boundaries a bit paired with the blue pumps but I like to push boundaries and I like unexpected color combos.  I’m feeling this.

I have about half an hour to decide between options two and four and to really convince myself why I shouldn’t wear shorts, no matter how much I want to.

This morning was rough.  I woke up at 7am (usual get-ready-for-The-Seven-morning-meeting-time that I’ve been waking up every day for the last 10 months) and there were lingering thoughts.  Anxiety kicked in.  Despite a gig offer coming through last night, I postponed accepting it - they wanted me to start this morning (about 12 hours notice) but I’m actually really feeling this opportunity to work for the production company that produces “Man vs. Food.”  (Man, I’ll do anything that involves food.)  So I wanted to explore my options.

That anxiety aside, I had a lunch date with the producer that got me into this unstable freelance television business to begin with (man, I love that guy) and on my way there I was stopped to be photographed for a fashion blog (again - twice in two weeks, I must’ve been a fashion segment producer in my past life).  They asked me questions, which forced me to hide my tail between my legs and admit that I’m “in between things right now” as I asked the camera guy about his lens.  That really got me motivated to spruce this blog up.  And then I really made myself believe I need a camera.

Eventually, I had myself a pina colada (Texas size from Dallas BBQ, what other kind is there?), grabbed my tail between my legs, and forced my ass to Best Buy to buy a camera.  I have a camera; like a real camera.

On my way home, I kept telling myself that I need a bag to carry the thing, so I stopped by the Village Tannery and hung out there for a bit trying on all the bags they have.  They have a lot.  And they’re really nice.  And even though I was walking out the store to “think about it,” somehow, I walked out with a fucking kick-ass leather backpack with one-of-a-kind leather that my camera fits in perfectly, I swear!  TJ, the owner, is really nice.  He made me a happy woman.

The end…of the beginning.

When I was a kid, all I watched was Friends.  I’d watch every episode Thursdays at 8pm whilst recording it (on VHS) and then I’d watch them over and over again.  I knew the lines word for word and I converted everyone I knew into avid Friends watchers.  All the live long day, Friends.  Every episode was so applicable and they’re even more hilarious now that I’ve been living in New York City the past few years realizing that every joke was a mockery of the different types of New Yorkers you meet along the way.  These days, I’m the mocked New Yorker.  

Joey [wearing a funny hat]: Seriously, you like it?  This guy was selling them on 8th Ave and I looked at him and I thought, “You know what I don’t have?”

Monica: A mirror?

J: Fine, make fun.  I think It’s jaunty.

M: Wow, for a guy who’s recently lost his job, you’re in an awfully good mood.

J: Hey, I’ll be alright.  I mean, it’s not like I’m starting from square one.  I was Dr. Drake Ramoray on “Days of Our Lives.”  I mean, that’s gotta have some kind of cache.

M: Cache?  Jaunty?

J: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper.

That was me the other day jauntily walking around (slightly intoxicated) with a new leather backpack and a camera in it.  ”I’m alright.  I’m not starting from square one.  I was a fashion segment producer on MTV’s The Seven.  That’s gotta have some impact?”  It’s gotta, right?  I really hope it does because I’ve lost one gig, passed on another, and waiting word on a third that, to be honest, also feels like a step back.

Estelle [Joey’s agent]: Don’t worry about it already.  Things happen.

Joey: So, you’re not mad at me for getting fired and everything?

[…]

E: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business.  I already got you an audition for “Another World.”

J: Alright!  [Looking over script] Cab driver number two?

E: You’re welcome!

J: But I was Dr. Drake Ramoray.  How can I go from being a neurosurgeon to driving a cab?

E: Things change, roll with ‘em!

J:  But this is a two-line part.  It’s like taking a step backwards, I’m not gonna do this.

E:  Joey, I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minzer and his pyramid of dogs - Take any job you can get and don’t make on the floor.

“Take any job you can get.”  It’s great advice in show business.  (“Don’t make on the floor.”  That’s just common sense, especially in New York!)  At this rate, if the third show is offered to me, I’ll probably have to take it.  I have a camera and a leather bag sitting on plastic as I wait for unemployment check one to come through.

[Joey opens envelope one of two of his Visa bill.]

Ross: What, whoa, whoa, $3500 at Porcelain Safari?

J: My animals.  The guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused.  I don’t know what I’m gonna do.

R: Well, I guess you can start by drivin’ a cab on “Another World.”

[…]

J: That’s a two-line part.

R: Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite.

J: So what?

R: So suck it up, man.  It’s a job.  It’s money.

J: Hey, look, I don’t need you getting all judgmental and condescending and podantic.

R: Toilet paper?

J: Yeah!

R: Look, I’m not being any of those things, okay, I’m just being realistic.

J: Well knock it off, you’re supposed to be my friend.

R: I am your friend.

J: Then tell me things like, “Joey, you’ll be fine,” and “Hang in there,” and “Something big’s gonna come along, I know it.”

R: But I don’t know it.  What I do know is you owe $2300 at Isn’t It Chromantic.

J: Hey Ross, I’m aware of what I owe.

R: Okay, well then get some sense.  I mean, it took you what, 10 years to get that job?  Who knows how long it’s gonna be till you get another?

First, I don’t owe that much (at least not in credit card debt).  Second, I have those friends and family that Joey wants.  But I also have the Ross’ in life.  Pragmatism tells me that if I’m offered this gig, I take it, pay off the debt, look for other gigs, and maybe store up some cash to buy a new pair of shoes.  I’m good with shoes.  Like Dave just told me this morning:

I wore the boat shoes you gave me on Saturday…I was THE MAN.  Everyone loved them!

I should be a personal shopper.  They make money right?

Fashion crash: 90s fashion.  Everyone was HATING on that madness about five years ago saying that the 70s and 80s were fashion heydays and the 90s had nothing to offer in terms of future revitalization.  But Friends alone was just one major game changer for fashion.  High waist jeans, corset tops, maxi skirts, big hair, big hats, harem pants, for crying out loud?!  My favorite is the universal and unisex Jack Purcell Converse that all the Friends cast wore. 

Friends circa 1996 - “The One With the Flashback:”

photo: coolspotters.com

I’ve owned at least one black pair and one white pair every day since the 6th grade.  Thought I’d take ‘em for a spin in the park this afternoon while I played with the new camera.

I love the NBA.  I love the Lakers.  I love Kobe.  I love basketball players.  Their asses are way nicer than any athlete out there.  And they (their asses) look damn fine in a suit.  Maybe now that the lockout has taken effect, they’ll have more time to dress in that fine ass way they know how.  I’m just hoping the regular season starts on time (both for the game and for the free throws - that’s when they bend over the most).

Kawhi Leonard of San Diego State is drafted in 2011 by the Indiana Pacers then traded to the San Antonio Spurs the next day.

Photo: Hiroko Masuike/The New York Times

Dwyane Wade tweets a picture of himself at this year’s Milan Fashion Week.

Photo: Dwyane Wade Twitter

Joakim Noah on draft day in 2007.

Photo: Chris McGrath/Getty Images

Fashion crash: Don’t forget Walt Clyde Frazier.  He set the style bar.

Walt then.

Photo: jocksandstilettojill.com

Walt now.

Photo: mojohoops.blogspot.com

We cannot deny that basketball players have the best style.

Last night, I discovered what Polyvore is.  It’s basically a networking site that allows you to create style editorials.  I decided I could use this as my fashion segment outlet.  Above is the first set I put together.  I called it Lime Two-Time.  And I would seriously wear both of these outfits if I had the five grand to shell out.  
I’ve been on the hunt for lime-ish green shorts for a while now, but to no avail, until I spotted these by ADAM (and even these are reminiscent of that weird green-colored key lime pie you find at Albertsons). I paired them with the orange silk button-down and there were just too many options so I narrowed to two outfits surrounding these two items.
Daytime worktime: I’m undecided if the yellowish-lime tank can only work peeking out underneath the orange shirt, but I’m guessing that’s safest than trying to layer it over.  So, working with it underneath, the orange shirt remains un-buttoned but tucked in, wrapped up with the mint leather belt for a dose of structure but still fun with the unexpected color combo.  Topping this outfit with the asymmetrical denim jacket, you get an edgier take on a blazer that anchors down all the colors.  The oxford heels and simple gold wristwatch add some prep to make it right for the office, and possibly that double-stranded gold necklace (not necessary).
Nighttime funtime: Again with the sunflower print bustier under the orange shirt, instantly sexier for night.  I’d probably try the orange shirt with the bottoms knotted on each side left open or tied up in front (but either of these would lend for a more casual outing - tuck it in and leave it open for a more pulled-together look).  The taupe belt added a nighttime glow for me; chunky (but more comfortable) heels and glam accessories make it nighttime appropriate.  Throw on the jacket if it’s chilly - again just balancing the (what-seems-to-look-like) chaos of the entire ensemble.
I’d so wear these.

all photos via polyvore.com

I’m in the market for some chunky-heeled platforms with a heavy dose of color.  After picking out those blue heels in my Lime Two-Time set the other day, I set out to find some affordable ones.  When I found that chunky blue heels don’t really exist (with the exception of the one above), I started to give into the idea of any color pop.  I must have one of these - preferably in the affordable range, whatever that may be these days.

Jeffrey Campbell Eloise Platforms from Free People; Steve Madden Grettaa Sandal from Nordstrom; Dolce Vita Bette Platforms from Endless.com; Butter Dylan Platforms from Endless.com; Via Spiga Vanita Sandals from Nordstrom; Elie Saab Cutout Suede Heels from Boutique1.com; Jeffrey Campbell Adi Blue Multi Striped-Strap Platforms from LuLus.com; Nine West Stylin’ Sandal from Nordstrom; BCBGirls Helara Platform Sandal from Endless.com 

After those all-blue outfits the past couple of days, even J. Crew is posting indigo as their go-to color this weekend in “Indigo Girls.”  I need a break from the blues; I need to get away.  Southwest, come through!

all photos via polyvore.com